Bones

Rats live around here
        shuffling bones from wall to wall,
I shuffle along with them
The smell of shit on my hands
        reminding me of growth,
While laughing cockroaches
        invade my home.

I think I recognise these bones:
        they sound like the ones I guarded under my skin once.
But now they are instruments
        clanging rhythms for the hallway service,
While laughing cockroaches
        take out their hammers and claws.

        What is that noise?
        - silence to ignore, silence to placate.
        What is the source?
        - of the noise?
        No, the silence. Why is there silence? Where is it coming from?
        - that is the sound of me listening.
        But why do you not ask questions?
        - I thought you were speaking.
        Don't you care?

Renovators are removing the door.

        Can I have my door back, please?
        It opened a new world to me.

"Silence!" speak the laughing cockroaches.

What are these walls collecting?
Instruments rattling backwards and forwards.
Are there ghosts living lives down this hall?
No, there are only rats
        beating rhythms on bones
        that once clattered under my skin.

• 19th July, 2024; Motueka