W. Stubbs
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15/12/2022

We Can Always Rebuild

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By the end of October, 2022, I had returned to the freedom camping domain where I originally parked up in May prior to heavy rains closing the domain and I moving into a caravan for June and July while working before house- and animal-sitting for the couple whose property the caravan is on. The domain is a fantastic open space with two long-drops and 4 rubbish bins, and doubles as a night star-gazing location for any astronomy enthusiasts (though I have never seen any turn up).

When I originally returned a month ago, I walked down to the riverside that runs alongside the Great Taste Trail for cyclists (mainly) and found a perfect spot to build a campfire: two stones adjacent to each other (or one stone broken in half!) that created a gap in which I could drop sticks and twigs into that would boil my water in the morning. Here would be my new spot for a fresh cup of coffee every morning (weather permitting). And it was made so.


Annie's Park, 2018

When I first moved into my car in 2018 and pulled up at Annie's Park where I made my residence for the next six months, I did not have a gas cooker, and I did not think of getting one. My first attempts at cooking with fire were a perfect failure [fig. 1]. My second attempt was better [fig. 2] and I actually boiled some water, though it did take some time. Nevertheless, coffee was able to be had, and no doubt at some point I boiled up some eggs, kumara and/or broccoli.

A few more attempts were made before I made the final and best campfire of Annie's Park using found bricks up the road to compliment my stone structure, and I was happy with my place amongst sand, water, birds, and wind.

The riverside was a convenient spot due to my car being parked right on the upper bank, so it was only a few steps down from the bank and across some stones to where my fireplace was built - not far at all to carry my food and cooking materials. The picture below [fig. 4] shows a container I bought to collect my firewood in - lots of broken branches collected from up and down the riverside and along the road.
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[fig. 1] 2x Candle, one paper cup, plastic box, one fry pan, Merrell slip-ons (2018, Annie's Park)
[fig. 2] A piece of piping bought for $5 from Think Water, and a new pot from the op-shop (2018, Annie's Park)

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[fig. 3] (2018, Annie's Park)
Picture[fig. 4] 2018: Happy and content - finally content!




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(2018, Annie's Park)

Wai-iti River, 2022

By the end of 2018, Annie's Park had changed: Rains had come and gone, the river had risen and swept my campfire away, someone had come and stolen my dish-washing liquid and similar items while I was in town (immortalised in my poem 'Liquid Dish-wash Thieves' from The Tasman Journey), a council member had driven 10km out to where I was and questioned me about living in my vehicle, despite the fact that the park had no official council designation and the 'no camping' sign had been put up by a man across the road who lived right next to the man who actually looked after and named the park in honour of his mother and whom I had approached when first arriving and told him what my plans were, of which he had no problems with, and neither did any of the other surrounding neighbours in the community who I met!

My life moved on as well, as I met a woman and we started our own adventures together, travelling south (forthcoming poetry & prose collection Two Left Feet), and then North to do house-sitting. When that relationship ended, I stayed in the North Island for some time working to gain funds for my distribution drive of The Tasman Journey, only to have that interrupted on my way back to Tasman by The Kapiti Coast last year (of which makes up the entire second half of what will be my third collection of poetry & prose, currently titled as A Crook in the Elbow).

I revisited Annie's Park and it still felt welcoming (apart from the sandflies), but it was time now to be somewhere new, and Wai-iti Domain was that place. The walk to the riverside, however, is, at least from where I park my car all the way over on the other side of the domain, about 120-200 metres away, and it seemed a bit of a distance to take all my cooking gear and food for one cook-up and then return. So my first two campfires served as morning coffee trips.

What happened to the first campfire?

Ahh, the first campfire. Nature happened to it [fig. 6].

But I did not fret! When the rain ceased, and the river lowered, I went back looking for anything that might remain. I did find one rock still showing the sooty burnt face, and so, I set about rebuilding.

And then the council interfered [fig. 7] and left a wake of destruction right where my campfire had been [fig. 8], and all for the sake of reinforcing the opposite side of the bank that time will eventually erode away regardless.

Disappointed as I was, I did not give up. And I built a third fireplace, even better than the first two, and even better than any of the ones I attempted at Annie's Park. Once I had spent a few mornings making coffee on the riverside, I took my grill down and set up a cooking spot, and now I pack a frying pan (first one that replaced the original fry pan from fig. 1) into the same bag that I store all my collected sticks and broken branches, hand axe, paper rubbish, and matches in, and make my way down for an evening meal watching the sun fade into clouds on the horizon....
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[fig. 5] First campfire on Wai-iti River. The log of wood was carried down from further up on the Wai-iti Loop track, and the piece of metal that helped balance the kettle, a broken piece from a flat crow-bar, was found on the side of the road when walking back from Wakefield (2022)
[fig. 6] Flooding
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[fig. 7]
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[fig. 8] a dirty big mess of holes
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11/11/2022

A Weaving of Words from the East Coast

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Kaituhi Rāwhiti Two is the new collection of writings from the East Coast of New Zealand's North Island and will be launched on the 16th of December at the Waikanae Surf Lifesaving Club, Gisborne.

One short-story and two poems written by myself were graciously accepted and are included. It makes me very proud to have my writings accepted by my fellow Gizzy Authors, and included in amongst other writers from the region.

I was born in
Tūranganui-a-Kiwa and grew up on some of the surrounding farmlands - Te Karaka, Tiniroto, Waingake - and moved into town at 11 years of age. I remember writing my first story at about the age of 9 or 10, and continued on from there, self-publishing my first and second novels on Amazon, and designing and producing my first collection of poetry and prose The Tasman Journey myself, financing, printing and distributing the book to numerous Paper Plus and independent book stores throughout the North Island from my car.

Although I have lived elsewhere throughout Aotearoa, and have currently returned to The Tasman District, it is, without doubt,
Te Tairāwhiti where I feel most at home: it is the place I grew into my teenage years, it is the place I always returned to as an adult, and throughout my poetry, stories, and many other pieces of writing, Tūranganui-a-Kiwa is never far from my thoughts. 

Many thanks to Regina de Wolf-Ngarimu for the support and encouragement; to the editors and staff who worked on the book, and Gillian Moon and Aaron Compton. 
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21/11/2021

My Housing Situation

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This morning I woke up to a couple of maggots falling on my head.

Since I moved into my cabin, I have had one or two rats entering into the ceiling where the insulation is and possibly nesting. Frequently I have heard them scuttling about, scratching, gnawing, and occasionally squealing with antagonism at another. It is usually only one at a time, and I have thrown the sides of my clenched fist banging against the ceiling to scare them and hopefully either shoo them away or just shut them up from fright. And that was usually when I noticed much upheaval of accumulated rat droppings on the other side of the plywood where they were living.

The ceiling has two 1.5x1m (aprox.) sheets of plywood over the room, a narrow skylight with two PC sheets doubled over top of each other, and directly above the bed two narrow half sheets of plywood covering that end.

About a month ago, after waiting for a sunny weekend, I ripped the corrugated iron roofing off the bed end and found lots of droppings that I cleaned up, but couldn't find any obvious entry points for the rat to get in from the outside, only pathways into that area from the other area. Two weeks ago, I attacked the other side pulling off the roofing and again, finding no rats but many rat droppings. But this time, after doing some research, I sprinkled the insulation and general area with pepper, paprika, and oregano to use as deterrents while also dropping some rat poison in one of it's travel paths, and down where some of the insulation was. 

I think the deterrent worked, as there was no more scuttling in that larger area of ceiling, but over the bed, the rat came back. Last night I heard a rat scurrying about, but then went quiet. This morning the maggots came to visit. Now, let me be clear, I expected there to be a dead rat up there: when the weather did heat up in the afternoon the last few days, I did start smelling the distinct stench of decomposition. So, I knew that at some point I would need to get back up and clean it out. This morning was that point. Three maggots at 7:30 AM, up I got, checked my hair - clean; checked the bed - a few more maggots; cleaned these up, got a bucket and put it beneath the plywood gaps in the ceiling where I suspected they had fallen from, and began getting the tools together to go back onto the roof and pull off the roofing. 

This is what I found:
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Yay! Dead rat. Urggh! Dead rat and maggots. (I thought rats were supposed to go outside to die?)

While pulling the infected insulation out and shoving it into a big black rubbish bag, my flatmate/tenant seemed to only care about the minuscule fibers missing the bag and falling on the ground, or drifting through the air. That got me a bit pissed off since having rats in the flatmate's ceiling seems to be the least of her concerns and I replied quite angrily "right now I'm a little bit more concerned with dead rats and maggots in my ceiling." After I got it cleaned out and vacuumed I said that there will need to be new insulation placed in because I've thrown it all out. She said she'd get it herself instead of telling the landlord. 

But why not tell the landlord since it's his property, his housing responsibility?

"I just don't want him to be too concerned about what's happening here, especially with repairs, otherwise it might tip his decision to finally sell the property."

This has been her concern for some time I think, and should he sell, we are all out with nowhere to go: I return to a car that isn't running, potentially back to Tūranganui-a-Kiwa to live with my parents if I can't find a place as cheap as this to rent. With no current car running (mine stopped working about two months ago), returning to living in a car isn't much of an option: I could sleep in it on the side of the road outside the house, I guess!

So currently, I live in a cabin that the tenant doesn't want to contact the landlord about fixing for fear that he'll decide to sell. This property with the potential for vegetable gardening has become her home, the house is her home, and the village we live in has become her home. I understand that dilemma for her, but I do feel at times there is a lack of compassion and concern for her fellow flatmates.

If this cabin is to remain my home, then I am going need to fix it myself and block up every potential entry point for a rat to enter in through. It's not something I can rely on a landlord for, or the tenancy holder. It is my home, my responsibility.

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4/9/2018

Home - A Song from 1995

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Will the stars come out
Will they come out tonight?
Will the stars come out
Or will they sleep all night?
The moon is quiet
Without a voice,
It’s lonely tears
Fall without choice.
 
I’m going to a place
Where no one has gone before,
I’m going somewhere
Where I cannot fall.
I’m going to a place
Which will not leave me alone,
Where I’m going
I think I’d call it home.
 
There are places
You cannot go,
There are faces
You must not know.
We could pretend
Mine is one of those,
Or we could make amends
And find our way home.
 
Do you call this home
A place where you belong?
Or is it just a home
Where you can do more wrong?
 
Will the stars come out
Will they come out tonight?
Will the stars come out
Or will they hide all night?
Behind clouds of gloom
I face up to the sky,
And stare at the moon
With tears in my eyes.
 
You can’t call this home
A place where you belong,
How can you know
What is right or wrong?
 
​
  • 1995, Gisborne

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28/8/2018

26/07/18

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The 26th begins this tale of the last days of July. Come into the passenger's seat here with me, listen to the wind bow the trees, truck suspensions grunting over potholes, rapids winding downriver settling the storm; and the ticking of time as feet point upwards perched between door and window.

I have you here in my heart. A thought, a happiness long past. We shared days in the sun, cuddled for warmth during rain, joked about opinions and rational assumptions. 

But numb are the laughs. Dying days for ghosts.

I sit by the fireside, coffee and poached eggs, morning light drifts between trees. I wonder: Is this the end? All I have to look forward to - collecting wood, drying it over ashes, washing dishes in the river, reading a book when mind and body are too tired for anything else.

Or will spring raise the spirits up and remember feet are for walking, the pen is for writing, the mind is for thinking? Is today just a dead day?

I have you here in my heart. Sleep wants me to forget, light all I can see. I awake to me, as I have always been.
​​
  • Excerpt from The Tasman Journey

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  • About
  • Novels
  • Poetry
  • Music
    • Music
    • Proposed Albums
    • Opus List
    • Songs Without Music >
      • 1993
      • The Hunter's Knife (Lyric)
  • Music Reviews
  • WarBlog
  • Product